We will ask you questions and more questions. This will be the case whether you are pre-arranging or whether someone has just died and you are making arrangements for them. There are about a million questions -- or so it seems. We need information for the legal paperwork; we need information for the obituary; we need information for the items chosen for the funeral.
A funeral is an event. There’s no way around it. A funeral director is going to help you accomplish in a few days a mountain of tasks that will result in beautiful ceremony designed to honor your loved one. So we have to ask questions.
But I have heard you. You want to have a way to get some of these questions done before you arrive in our office. The attached form is one that we place in our pre-arrangement packet, designed to get you on track for the information we need.
You can use this form for pre-arranging; or if a loved one has died, you can fill in as much as possible ahead of coming to the arrangement conference.
Of course, you don’t have to do this ahead of time. We are here to walk you through every step.
If you were to die today,
who would control your funeral?
As simple as the question is, the answer is complicated.
Looking at the order of those allowed to control
your funeral, New York State lists them like this:
1. A person designated in writing
2. The surviving spouse
3. The surviving domestic partner
4. Any surviving child age 18 or over
5. Surviving parent
6. Surviving sibling age 18 or older
7. Lawfully appointed guardian
8+. There are several categories after this that rarely apply.
From a funeral directing point of view, what is the most frequent complication in the list? The most common problem arises between item 2 and 3.
If you are separated--but not divorced--from your spouse, you are at risk of leaving confusion in your wake. Legally, the surviving spouse has precedence over everyone, regardless of the quality of the relationship. If you have made the decision that you want someone other than your not-yet-former-spouse to control your funeral, you must complete a Designation of Agent form, which then moves your named person up to the top priority.
Perhaps there is no spouse or domestic partner, in the event that there are several children who would qualify to control your funeral, perhaps you would see the need to designate one. The completed Designation of Agent form will remove doubt and confusion.
Free consultations, because all consultations are free, are available to determine if this is a wise move for you. Call Bud at 585-593-3256 or 607-478-8740.
Shroud - a thing that obscures another -- as in a shroud of mist.
A shroud is a term associated with death as it is a length of fabric wrapping a body in preparation for burial. It can also be associated with death because for the average person, may aspects of the death care industry seem to be lying within a shroud.
This page will be utilized occasionally to address some of those issues and perhaps make them more transparent for you.